wearing MAC Halsey and Sephora Collection liquid eyeliner while sporting my public transit “perpetual gaze…”
I didn’t grow up in a big city, and getting used to riding public transit here was very tough for me.
Dealing with massive numbers of anxious people in very close quarters is not something I take pleasure in doing. often it can be very stressful for me, and it can also make you feel exceptionally undetectable at times, which is often for the best…depending on how I feel.
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But I’ve been wanting to see what would happen if I called a lot more attention to myself.
I regularly take the subway, and I’ll often ride the bus when I’m just going between neighborhoods close to home. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been experimenting with wearing bolder colors while I’m out, and that includes while I’m riding public transportation.
Calling attention to myself has never been something I’ve been comfortable with. I’m very unlike my astrological sign that way. As a Leo, I’m meant to be an attention seeker. I’m meant love being on center stage — dramatic, creative, and outgoing.
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In some ways, I think that fits me, but not in terms of me being outgoing. I think I’m a contradiction in the way I present myself — how I dress, choice of clothing, style of hair, choice of makeup.
By choosing bolder colors these past few weeks, I’m trying to be a lot more “present” in my own world. even if I’m the only person who notices, someone is still noticing and appreciating, right?
A selection of my color choices over the last few weeks, from top to bottom: MAC Versicolor Lip stain in perpetual Holiday, Maybelline brilliant Matte liquid Lipstick in Berry Boost, Manic Panic Lip Locked Lipstick in Mystic Heather and MAC Halsey
I’d never worn MAC perpetual holiday or Maybelline Berry improve outside the house before, and both are a little outside my comfort zone, but MAC Halsey has been the furthest one outside my comfort zone lately. It’s my first grey lipstick, and it might be a little too light for my coloring…but um, I kind of love it?
MAC Halsey sits in stark contrast to pinky purple Manic Panic
People see things on the subway every day that don’t make them blink twice, but as a young woman on public transit, I feel oddly enjoyed in any way times, so taking out a lipstick and a mirror makes me feel doubly judged.
Wearing these colors lately, I’ve been anxious that someone might stare at me or say something rude, especially while I’ve worn Halsey on my commute home after a long day, looking tired… I’ll be honest, I was terrified I looked like a zombie, or like the color would turn my lips blue.
But, I’ve been oddly comforted by silence so far. nothing has been said to me, and while I have gotten a few stares and odd looks, I haven’t felt as uneasy as I thought I would. It’s been oddly empowering to (at least try) not to care about what other people think of my makeup.
I can’t say how often grey lipstick will make its way into my makeup routine, but I’m glad I did this experiment and that I’m trying something new.
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Being a creature of habit, I tend to stick with what I think works for me — natural eyes and red lips — but forcing myself out of my comfort zone has given me a confidence improve that I’m trying to carry over into other aspects of my life (especially when it pertains to my body and how I present/hold myself).
Find full reviews of the MAC Versicolour stains here, MAC Halsey here, and Maybelline brilliant Mattes here and here.
Have you ever done an experiment like this to see how the world around you would respond?
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